Disclaimer: This website, in its entirety, requires your willing suspension of disbelief.

Finer Facts

Finer Facts:

Monday, May 3, 2010

The Pastime That is Croquet

        Whether teetering on the precipice at the peak of Mt. Everest or simply absorbing the rich hues of the exotic plant life in your courtyard, there is no wrong place for the pastime that is croquet. Croquet, contrary to many a  shallow perception, is not merely a glorified version of putt putt. Rather, croquet celebrates mankind's primitive nomadic lifestyle with its portable nature while requiring grace, relaxation, and precision from its partakers. To effectively participate in a match, you must be in a party of two to six. Simply ask your classy friends if they would fancy a dual in the art of laid back competition. While nearly any outdoor scenario is fitting for croquet, some situations add the ingredients of class and finesse to the match for maximum enjoyment. Consider these suggestions to formulate a perfectly classy match:
  • When setting the coarse, don't be timid about integrating a wicket (that thing you wrongly call a hoop or gate) near water hazards or quick sand. These are all in good taste of the game.
    • With this in mind, never over complicate the coarse. Hedge mazes are frowned upon. 
  • Do not try to turn this into an amphibious game, even if you devise a way to float the wickets, no one likes treading in water while waiting for their turn
  • Grass similar to that of the Augusta National Golf Coarse is a nicety.
  • Do not let pressing matters interfere with your match. The phone call from Ralph Lauren himself can wait.
  • Make an effort to see through that fellow players are supplied with snacks and refreshments. Cocktail swords through sandwiches and cocktail umbrellas to keep beverages cool on a hot summer's day are recommended.
  • Although competitive, croquet requires good sportsmanship as well as sociable qualities. Compliment your adversaries with these when they are deserved:
    • "Well done" 
    • "Marvelous hit, i must say"
    • "You've reached impeccable form this afternoon"
    Now that the classy stage is set for a fine match of croquet, all you need is finesse, vision, and composure. With these attributes you will inevitably prove that you can accomplish the graceful action of carrying momentum from the mahogany mallet to the silver-lined ball in superior manner to that of your adversaries.
     Taking delight in a match of croquet on the prep school quad.

    The pastime that is croquet has a rich history of been enjoyed by royalty, heads of state, and school children from far and wide. Its relaxing yet involving nature is one that we, the class connoisseurs, are truly passionate about. The bonds and acquaintances one can make while playing add to croquet's well spirited and timeless style. So go on and have a swell time partaking in this pastime. And remember,
    Stay Classy

    William and Walter
    W & W

    Quadruple U