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Finer Facts

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Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Hierarchy of Monuments

Since humanity first left its allegorical nest, it has never ceased to fly, moreover progress. This constant advancing has always been fueled by the astounding achievements and breakthroughes of many distinguished individuals. To properly honor these achievements, mankind has produced a grand array of monuments. Some of these mementos are extraordinarily fine whilst others are mundane. Regardless, monuments manage to depict what mere recollections cannot. We've compiled a gradient of the amount of class demonstrated from different types of monuments. This hierarchy may also serve to assist you in measuring your own worth to the world.
  • Birth Certificates: The article that proves your existence. It is considered very difficult to be classy if one does not exist.
  • Photographs: Pictures are the most easily obtainable monuments to date. However, they require no standards of self dignity or even a smidgen of class, as portrayed in today's social networks and such. 
  • Reserved Parking Spots: Occasionally, a parking spot will bear someone's name, announcing that due to there importance and/or social status, they deserve to station their vehicle in the convenient area more than others.
  • Wikipedia Pages: A monument that resembles a branching out. Not only the people in your immediate reach recognize your popularity. Information from various sources must be used to confirm your distinguished accomplishments
  • Paintings: A painting that depicts you is often a result of your actions inspiring someone to use their God given talents. This is valid indicator that you've accomplished something with noticeable levels of class.:
  • Urban Legend: Though not a tangible monument, the spirit of the town folk who retell your heroic feats and speculate on what you were fed as a child prove that you're a virtuoso of class.
  • Face on Currency: You've achieved such a level of honor amongst your fellow people that they'd like to recognize you and your extraordinarily feats on federal notes.
  • A Statue: A  statue is the ultimate worldly monument to one's class. Here is why:
    • Statues  immortalize not only the person they represent, but also the eminence with which they lived. Statues are spawned to commemorate their subjects. They yearn to harbor as much class in their sculpted bodies as their subjects did in life. The inherent fineness of these objects can be appreciated anywhere, whether that be in a gallery in Florence or merely in a public park.

There is, however, a far superior rendition of the statue. As our friends at Mt. Rushmore have already figured out, some men deserve not a monolith made of bronze, but rather, an image weaved into nature.

Statues hold an unrivaled winning record in starring contests
Many monuments and other tributes may have been omitted from the catalog above, the why and the wherefore of this passage was to cultivate an illustrious ambition to climb the rungs on the daunting ladder of monuments. "Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go." - T.S. Eliot.

Stay Classy,

William & Walter
W & W
Quadruple U