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Finer Facts

Finer Facts:

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Casual Summer Activities

  • horseback riding
  • dolphin-back riding
  • camping
  • bird watching
  • croquet
  • yachting
  • fishing
  • grilling
  • yawning
  • Jai-alai
  • making a pie
  • eating a pie
  • casually reading
  • whistling
  • escaping to a remote island to find yourself
  • swimming
    • swan diving
  • reminiscing
  • composing your one hit wonder
  • collecting firewood
  • blogging about casual summer activities
  • reading the Class Connoisseurs Guide to the Finer Things
  • rereading the Class Connoisseurs Guide to the Finer Things
  • basically every sport
  • conquering mountains
  • conquering metaphorical mountains
  • driving across the country, windows down
  • singing along to Beethoven
  • sailing
  • carving things from wood
  • painting
  • laughing
  • speculating on the apocalypse 
  • finding matches for all your socks
  • smoking a cigar
  • gardening
  • avoiding facebook
  • photographing
  • smelling roses
  • starting and finishing a game of Risk
  • charming heads of state and other important figures with your suaveness
  • making a tree house
  • tubing
  • star gazing
  • courting women
  • flexing
  • golfing
  • digging up time capsules
  • metal detecting
  • partaking in a game of horse shoe or washers
  • traveling
  • honoring your wild
  • watching Spongebob Squarepants reruns
  • attending concerts and other live performances
  • sporting fine, seasonal clothing
    •  seersucker and madras products, visors, flip flops, and the likes
  • playing catch
  • wearing a sweet pair of shades
  • shootin' things
  • summer reading
  • attending family reunions
  • relaxing
  • laxing
  • sporting one's boat shoes, on a boat
  • etcetera etcetera.....
Feel free to print this out to guide you along your summer journeys.

Stay Classy,

William & Walter
Quadruple U

Sunday, May 8, 2011

The Origin of Winks, Part 2

Click here for Part 1

After reading and grasping the context of this gesticulation, one may be asking oneself "how may I, a mere fledgling, execute this timeless expression properly?" Fear not restless aspirant. In this post, we will take a gander at a handful of the wink's legendary uses.

The Function
After its birth into the classy culture, winking has evolved into many roles crucial to the classy man's life. Here are some of its commonly practiced functions:
  • Since the age of the Renaissance, men have been execute the wink to woo women. Damsels' hearts melt when given the wink. But be cautious, for this trick of the trade only works if carried out with the correct balance of swagger and chivalry.
  • In stark contrast, winking can also be used to shower confidence among worried compatriots before performing heroic events. It is said that Stonewall Jackson winked at his fellow confederate soldiers before they defeated the Union at the first battle of Bull Run.
  • Winking has also been famously used after heroic acts. When used in this manner, the receiver of the wink may fall into a depressed state as the guilt of ever doubting you overwhelms them.
  • A wink given at the business table signifies that an under the table deal is developing, even though the wink is given above the table.
  • Like its less impressive cousin, the blink, winking provides moisture for the cornea and helps remove debris from one's eye.

Yes, superman always winked before going off to save the world.

  • CAUTION: Failure to carry out the wink convincingly may result in the following:
    • 8 to 10 months without any social contact whatsoever.
    • Blindness in the eye that was used to wink
    • A gentle slap to the face
    • A powerful slap to the face
    • An incurable rash on the forehead
    • Broken dreams
    • A fine upwards to $560
    • Nausea 
The world of class has given us the wink so that we may use is appropriately. The logistics behind the wink's powers transcends our understanding, and thus it is a challenging weapon to wield. Moderation is key, for the more you wink, the less significant it becomes. Now that you've been taught, go forth...

....and stay classy,

William & Walter
W & W
Quadruple U