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Finer Facts

Finer Facts:

Monday, March 29, 2010

A Watch is Perhaps the Most Overlooked Accessory, As Well As One of the Finest

Time- Mankind's measurement of mortality, the scheduler of our daily actions, and the only true thing humans truly have possession of.

Also, its a number, and there are very few abilities out there more useful than being able to know this number at any given moment. That is why one who is classy must wear a wrist bound time incremental evaluation apparatus, or simply put, a wrist watch. Now you maybe asking yourself how a watch could possibly be classy. To answer that, I will in fact, not answer that....yet. Firstly, I will tell you, my class seeking reader, how and when a wrist bound time incremental evaluation apparatus is not a finer thing.
  • First off, digital watches, especially ones with an over abundance of features, are strongly discouraged from public events.
Your classy social life may be in tatters if seen with one of these anywhere that isn't an athletic facility.

  • Secondly, a cellular device does not count as a watch. That's just cheating.
So, onto the more appropriate ways to tell time:
  • Obviously, analog watches are classy. They are simple, elegant, and functional.
  • Now if you've been invited to a gala, the only acceptable option is a pocket watch tucked inside your suit
Sooooo classy
    • All sophisticated sophisticates know the sophistication behind a sophisticated hand crafted watch. However, there is one more alternative: The Sundial
Which of the following phrases sounds the classiest-
  • "I wonder what time it might be. Ah yes, I shall glance at my wrist."
  • "Oh dear, in accordance to this masterfully crafted pocket watch I'm holding, I must now depart.
  • "I ponder what hour and minute it is at this moment. Excuse me as a swing into my outside quarters to observe my sundial.
Clearly, the sundial is the classiest and finest of all time measuring instuments.

Stay Classy

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Small Dishes at Expensive Restaurants with Unnecessary Sauce Designs and the Significance of Parsley to Make Them Look Even Better

I sometimes wonder what the chef's were thinking when they decided to make the food look more appealing by adding parsley on top, making the portions smaller, and artistically spreading the sauce around the piece of food; and while they're at it, why not drive up the price a few more bucks for all the extra effort they put in to making your food look good. Now, contrary to popular belief, aesthetically appealing food is just as important as great taste. Ask everyone who's anyone in the world of classiness and they will have to agree with me on this one, your food has gotta look just as classy as you do.

Feta Cheescake with Port Poached Figs
Why not add a little green to our cheesecake?

But the only way one may pull off the complete look of classiness while eating this is to be well dressed, know how to hold his fork correctly, and to have graceful, but stern head nod to all the other classy people that may pass you by.

But, sometimes, there needs to be a line drawn between creating real class and an attempt at creating class and I'm drawin' it. This picture shows an attempt.
Hmm... I think there is something wrong with my chocolate covered cheesecake....Oh ya, there's no chocolate on it. Maybe a better title could be "Cheesecake with Chocolate covered plate"

Does it really taste that much better in tiny portions with creative sauce designs? No.

Does it really look classy when you eat it? Yes.

So, "Small dishes at expensive restaurants with unnecessary sauce designs and parsley on top" are officially CLASSY


Thursday, March 25, 2010

The Creation Story

A few things you're probably wondering right now "What is this?", "What the hell is a connoisseur?"(for those lacking an extensive vocabulary) and "Why would they even make this?"

All good questions. Lets start with the first. This is very hard to answer since this is not just about one thing, this is truly a compilation of two great minds that think alike and use their God given talents in deciding what is straight up classy and what's is psuedoclassy to set the standard in classiness today. Imagine this post as the first book of Genesis in the Class Bible.

Now on to the question about connoisseur (which is pronounced kon-uh-sur). According to Dictionary.com connoisseur means "an expert judge in matters of taste". Not only is this the definition I would use to describe myself, and my partner, it also gives the reader the assurance that these guys know what the hell they're talkin' 'bout.

To answer the last question "Why would they even make this?". Our answer is "Why not?"
We are doing our part in society to educate people...about classiness, because every good member of society should know that buttoning up all the buttons on your Polo is never acceptable.
Plus, best case scenario we end up like this guy:
not likely, but it's never bad to have high hopes.

And as this post comes to an end, I'd like to leave you with this picture:

"Stay classy my friends"