The Origin of Winks, Part 2

Click here for Part 1

After reading and grasping the context of this gesticulation, one may be asking oneself "how may I, a mere fledgling, execute this timeless expression properly?" Fear not restless aspirant. In this post, we will take a gander at a handful of the wink's legendary uses.

The Function

After its birth into the classy culture, winking has evolved into many roles crucial to the classy man's life. Here are some of its commonly practiced functions:

• Since the age of the Renaissance, men have been execute the wink to woo women. Damsels' hearts melt when given the wink. But be cautious, for this trick of the trade only works if carried out with the correct balance of swagger and chivalry.
• In stark contrast, winking can also be used to shower confidence among worried compatriots before performing heroic events. It is said that Stonewall Jackson winked at his fellow confederate soldiers before they defeated the Union at the first battle of Bull Run.
• Winking has also been famously used after heroic acts. When used in this manner, the receiver of the wink may fall into a depressed state as the guilt of ever doubting you overwhelms them.
• A wink given at the business table signifies that an under the table deal is developing, even though the wink is given above the table.
• Like its less impressive cousin, the blink, winking provides moisture for the cornea and helps remove debris from one's eye.

Yes, superman always winked before going off to save the world.

• CAUTION: Failure to carry out the wink convincingly may result in the following:
• 8 to 10 months without any social contact whatsoever.
• Blindness in the eye that was used to wink
• A gentle slap to the face
• A powerful slap to the face
• An incurable rash on the forehead
• Broken dreams
• A fine upwards to $560
• Nausea 

The world of class has given us the wink so that we may use is appropriately. The logistics behind the wink's powers transcends our understanding, and thus it is a challenging weapon to wield. Moderation is key, for the more you wink, the less significant it becomes. Now that you've been taught, go forth...

....and stay classy,

William & Walter

W & W

Quadruple U

Most Interesting Picture Your Man Could Smell Like

Behold...

Photo credit: http://twitpic.com/3agcfk

Butlers

Regal, Proper, and Loyal

Walking encyclopedias of class, perusers of perfection, and unremitting suppliers of wisdom, butlers' aggregate knowledge of things classy would not be advanced upon reading this Guide. Today's society holds many misconceptions about butlers.Since an apparent lapse in knowledge and a influx of rumors has occurred, the gap must be filled. For this reason we present you with this valuable information about these majordomos.

Facts, and only facts:

• Butlers are not just merely a glorified, socially acceptable form of stalkers; though they are always behind you.
• Butlers do not have pasts, they were born that way.
• Butlers are unable to retain existence without sporting a suit.
• Butlers are able to anticipate what you want, when you need it, all the time.
• Butlers were the preferred search engine for 1,998 years, until later being defrauded by Google, Inc.
• Butlers are know for their spontaneousness. They're known to release doves every time you enter a room.
• Butlers have mastered sock management and location.
  
• Butler's hankercheif works the same way a Shamwow does, but classier.
• Butlers know about that thing you never told anyone about.
• Butlers have been there, done that.
• All Butlers have that "new car smell"
• Butlers have an internal clock, with a direct link to Greenwich Meridian Time, among many other internal tools such as...
• Compass 
• Atlas
• Thesaurus 
• Calender
• A direct live feed from classconnoisseurs.com.
• Geiger counter
• Similar to most advanced home security systems, for a mere $3 more a month they can provide a live video feed of your house

A fine butler in his natural habitat

Yours in Class,

William and Walter

W&W

Quadruple U