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Finer Facts

Finer Facts:

Monday, August 22, 2011

The Imperativeness of the Pocket Square

In a world filled with vanity, there are many function-less and over extravagant ways for one to decorate themselves. One accessory, namely the pocket square, has kept its classic roots, only to be grossly underused by today's gentlemen. Nothing quite says finer thing like a silk square tucked neatly inside one's bosom pocket, patiently awaiting its opportunity to be used in suave and gentlemanly ways. You see, intrigued reader, pocket squares hold a myriad of functions.


Uses of the pocket square include but are not limited to:

  • Wiping the spilled wine off the table as it nears your lady's expensive dress.
  • Shielding spilled wine in midair from ruining your lady's expensive dress because you have extraordinary quick reflexes.
  • Absorbing the spilled wine from your lady's expensive dress because you have slow, sloth like reflexes.
  • Gently slapping insubordinate people to remind them to mind their manners.
  • A tourniquet to save your friend's leg from that nasty shark wound.
  • Wiping away the tears of the bride's parents
  • Magic tricks
  • Emergency bull fighting 

HOW TO FOLD
The fine part of the pocket square lies in its simplicity. A pocket square should always be folded modestly, never yelling and begging for the attention of others. Rather, it should gently whisper to others as they subconsciously admire your neatness. A two or three triangle fold is usually appropriate. While many other complex and exotic methods for folding exist, we highly recommend avoiding them.
Don't even try.



Stay Classy,
William & Walter
Quadruple U



Monday, July 25, 2011

Claiming Territory

The beckoning predisposition to explore what no man has explored, to see what no man has seen, and to touch what no man has touched lies within all of us.This inclination applies to all things uncharted, unexplored, and most importantly unclaimed. The act of claiming territory is one that has greatly impacted history, at times giving birth to prosperous civilizations while waging violent wars on other occasions. But there are truly fine qualities that accompany those who dare to tame savage lands with honest and good willed intentions for the future.

Yeah... We did that.

Valid ways to claim territory:
  • Pointing at it
  • Nodding towards it
  • Urinating on or around it
  • Sticking a flag into it
  • Winking at it
  • Caging it
  • Fencing it in
  • Sitting on it
  • Writing a constitution that gives you control of it
  • Putting a ring on it
  • Signing it 
    • Note: exceptions include athletes and other social figures
  • Purchasing it
  • Trading for it
  • Drawing borders around it in the dirt using a stick or one's foot.
  • Reciting a spontaneously composed poem about the majestic land you've come across.
  • Writing your name on it

Simple phrases that can solve most territorial disputes.
  • "Dance off, you and me, right now"
  • "Shotgun"
  • "This town ain't big enough for the two of us"
  • "Heads - I win, Tails - you lose."

Obviously the art that is Claiming Territory is not dead. In reality, it's far from it. Now go on and establish a nation or go ride in the passenger seat of a vehicle.





Classily,


William and Walter
W&W
Quadruple U



Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Casual Summer Activities


  • horseback riding
  • dolphin-back riding
  • camping
  • bird watching
  • croquet
  • yachting
  • fishing
  • grilling
  • yawning
  • Jai-alai
  • making a pie
  • eating a pie
  • casually reading
  • whistling
  • escaping to a remote island to find yourself
  • swimming
    • swan diving
  • reminiscing
  • composing your one hit wonder
  • collecting firewood
  • blogging about casual summer activities
  • reading the Class Connoisseurs Guide to the Finer Things
  • rereading the Class Connoisseurs Guide to the Finer Things
  • basically every sport
  • conquering mountains
  • conquering metaphorical mountains
  • driving across the country, windows down
  • singing along to Beethoven
  • sailing
  • carving things from wood
  • painting
  • laughing
  • speculating on the apocalypse 
  • finding matches for all your socks
  • smoking a cigar
  • gardening
  • avoiding facebook
  • photographing
  • smelling roses
  • starting and finishing a game of Risk
  • charming heads of state and other important figures with your suaveness
  • making a tree house
  • tubing
  • star gazing
  • courting women
  • flexing
  • golfing
  • digging up time capsules
  • metal detecting
  • partaking in a game of horse shoe or washers
  • traveling
  • honoring your wild
  • watching Spongebob Squarepants reruns
  • attending concerts and other live performances
  • sporting fine, seasonal clothing
    •  seersucker and madras products, visors, flip flops, and the likes
  • playing catch
  • wearing a sweet pair of shades
  • shootin' things
  • summer reading
  • attending family reunions
  • relaxing
  • laxing
  • sporting one's boat shoes, on a boat
  • etcetera etcetera.....
Feel free to print this out to guide you along your summer journeys.


Stay Classy,

William & Walter
W&W
Quadruple U